Thursday, June 28, 2012

I'm lost Lord. I'm scared. I'm full of worry. Anxiety.

Why?

Why when you have clearly said to lay it all on you?  I fight for what-- nothing. 

Let me throw this all to you- TAKE IT TAKE IT from me and un pack that peace and joy that is covered up so heavily.

You are a miraculous God. The miracles of adoption, families, joy, peace, healing, provision, compassion, generosity.

I asked you so long ago to help me be humble. I'm learning. Learning it is a verb. Not an adjective.

I'm tired. physically. emotionally. yes. even spiritually. curled up in my nothingness. worrying. holding on to it. TAKE IT. PLEASE TAKE my anxiety away.

I KNOW. KNOW KNOW KNOW you provide all. All we have has been given to us. Everything. I hope our walk thus far has shone some glory to you and your heart has opened others. I KNOW KNOW KNOW KNOW that you continue today in holding us in the palm of your hands. perhaps my feeling out of control is because you, You have it all... and I simply need to be accustomed to that. Clearly i'm not. I struggle with that often . Please forgive me. Lord. Lessons over and over again.

Lord- I'm asking you to provide soon. Show yourself. I'm asking specifically to sell this home quickly, very quickly, this week! and for 35K or more so we can be debt free and get a jump on our new start.  Thank you Lord. I know you have it all. Yet, I want to take from you. How generous is that?! Forgive me.

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